Irresponsible mom abandons two babies with her 23-year-old sister, then comes back 6 years later with a new family, demanding involvement in the babies' lives again: ‘I looked after these children myself’

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    two babies on the floor looking at the camera
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    "Am I the AH for not putting up with disrespect from the women who abandoned her kids in me"

    Hello everyone. I am 29f my sister is 31f. 6 years ago my sister asked me to watch her children for the weekend.
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    They was 15mo and 3mo. She told me she was exhausted and couldn't cope and really needed a break, I agreed and she dropped them over with enough supply's for the weekend.
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    Plus 1 travel cot for them to share. (we are all from the UK so you know the kind of travel cot I was given) Come the Monday afternoon I tried calling my sister up (she never once called or text me how her children was doing and I didn't call her as I had my hands full and I swear neither of them slept at the same time so I was exhausted myself) Her phone went to voicemail.
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    I kept calling her with no answer and ended up having to walk to her house with the two babies to find her house was empty she had a eviction notice on the door due to anti social behaviour the whole house was shut down by the police with a court order.
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    I called the number and this was done on the Saturday. I was panicking at this point where Is my sister.
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    So I go to her exs house she isn't there. He offers to help look for her with me (he isn't the children father but they are close still) I ended up calling the police, I reported her missing and told them I have her two children with me This sparked social services involvement.
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    Luckily they deemed my home was good enough for baby's for the time being (I only lived in a bedsit so everything was in one room with a tiny septate bathroom not enough space to swing a cat let alone two babies 2 or 3 days later social services and the police come knocking on my door and I was heart broken I thought they was going to tell Me my sister was [gone]. No she tucked off she didn't want to be a parent anymore my 25 year old sister decided to abandon her children with me her 23 year ol
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    Social services asked if I wouldn't mind looking after them a couple more days tol they found a suitable foster placement for them both.
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    They couldn't promise me these two would stay together. So I told them I would like to keep them with me instead.
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    Social helped me with getting a council house. They helped me sort out benefits. I looked after these children myself.
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    a woman laying on the floor in a room with her head in her hands
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    Recently my sister came back into the picture she has a new family and wants to see her children and social services have approved this and my sister is under going assessments and sister will be slowly introduced to her children because they call me mum they know me as mum.
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    During a first meeting between myself and my sister a yesterday this happened. Everything went well then she asked to see some photos of her children and I showed her them on my phone.
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    She made awful comments about the photos. How my house wasn't nicely furnished it's all mixed matched.
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    How the boys clothes look grubby (they have nice clothes and they have old clothes I don't pjtnthe boys into nice clothes if we arengoing out somewhere fun Luke the woods or anywhere as my boys always find a way to get filthy I swear) plus I showed her our recent photos which was of them at a farm I'm not putting any child in decent clothes on a farm.
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    Then she looked at me how I'm dressed ect and actually turned to social services and said to them I thought people on benefits who can't afford to live, can't foster children.
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    (I wasn't dressed bad but after the meeting I had to go straight to work so I was in my work clothes jeans and a bleached stained polo with a hoodie on) They can bearly look after themselves they have to rely in the tax payers like her.
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    I told her straight that a 1 work full time. (granted I started full time in Sept when youngest started school full time before I was part from from when youngest turned 2 this does mean I do get benefit top ups because I'm on a low income job) That after she abandoned her children on me I was given a choice for them to go into foster care and get adopted out and most likely separately too.
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    But I asked to keep them with me in the family somewhere safe. And that if I didn't take them on you wouldn't be sat here today with a chance to see them you would have to wait til they are 18.
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    If at all. She went on to say how with my attitude I must of raised her children wrong and that her daughter doesn't get messy her daughter always look clean in her photos.
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    For reference I've seen her daughter beautiful little girl but all the photos are all staged not a hair out of place ect.) My photos are more like omg i saw a worm quick mum take a photo of Me with it.
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    My photos are mostly of the boys messy. I do have some nices ones school and nursery photos when we went to a wedding I got a couple then before they got gravy and whatever all over them.
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    My sister has requested a full reassessment on me and a welfare check on the boys which she is allowed.
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    She told the social worker she wants a third party as I am hostile and aggressive towards her.
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    I don't feel like I was but the social worker agreed to allow a third party to do all communication.
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    Was u the jerk do I need to apologise to her.
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    Traditional-Sky-2547 NTJ. She owes you for your time and money spent on those kids. She can't just walz back in and decide to play mommy again. I hope children's services vets her very carefully.
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    CraZKatLayD No, you don't need to apologize to her. She is very narcissistic and will pick on you to make herself look better. Keep a level head. You have done the best you can with the hand she dealt you, and those two boys need you to stay in their lives.
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    OhF Sgenericname Ntj. You are a hero to your kids! Your sister sounds like she is more concerned with the appearance of being a mother than actually being a mother. You might want to start being proactive, gathering receipts, documents, etc. Snoop her social media. Talk to your case worker. Emphasize to everyone that she chose to be a stranger to her own kids. Good luck to you and the little ones.

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